Being in a relationship isn’t easy. From learning how to effectively communicate your wants and needs to finding the sweet spot between your personal time and the time you spend together, relationships are a lot of work. While there’s no quick fix that makes every relationship a success, most couples can benefit greatly from couples therapy.
Around 75% of couples who have attended therapy sessions report that it improved their relationship. But not everyone is ready to share their problems with a therapist just yet. Whether you’re struggling to find the time for a couples therapy appointment or you can’t convince your partner to see a therapist, you don’t have to give up. There are other tools that you can try first to help your relationship get to a better place and it’s often worth the cost.
Here are five couples relationship exercises you can do in the privacy and comfort of your own home. From helping you overcome trust issues to developing the skills you need to efficiently convey your feelings, these exercises are designed to strengthen and improve the bond you share and prevent a divorce.
The game of truth
This activity is similar to truth or dare. But instead of giving your partner the option, you each ask each other questions the other has to respond honestly to. It’s a great way to understand each other better and learn things that you never knew before.
Start off with simple, light-hearted questions and move on to heavier, more significant feelings. Here are a few examples:
- If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
- Who is someone that inspires you?
- Which song truly speaks to you?
- What’s your biggest fear?
- What’s your happiest memory from your childhood?
It’s important to remember that any serious response your partner gives is valid. Don’t judge or make fun of them when they’re being honest and opening up. You are trying to increase intimacy and you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable to do so. If you laugh or mock or judge your partner’s sharing, they will not feel safe sharing with you.
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Uninterrupted listening
Many of us think we’re great at listening when all we’re actually doing is waiting for our turn to talk. Uninterrupted listening encourages each of you to genuinely listen and acknowledge what your partner is saying, without formulating your response while they’re talking.
To practice this exercise, set a timer for 3-5 minutes. As soon as the timer begins, your partner is free to talk about anything they want, from work, school, and your relationship, to dreams, stress, and everything in between. Your only job is to listen and take it all in.
When the timer goes off, your partner stops talking and it’s your turn. But first, thank your partner for sharing, try repeating back some of what you heard to show them that you heard them. Then it’s your turn. You can have one turn each or go back and forth until you’ve said everything you need to say. When you’re through, you can discuss what you each spoke about if you feel the need to. Again, thank your partner for sharing and letting you in to their world, eventually this may even prevent a separation.
Trust fall
Trust falls are often portrayed as silly team-building exercises designed to make co-workers get along, but they can be a genuine way to build trust. If something has happened in your relationship that makes it difficult for you and your partner to trust each other, try setting a solid foundation with a trust fall.
To do this, blindfold your partner and have them stand in front of you with their back facing you. When they’re ready, have your partner fall backward. Before they’re in any danger, catch them to prove you’re trustworthy.
It’s important to only practice trust falls if you’re confident you can support the weight of your partner. Make sure you’re paying attention during the fall and confirm they understand they have to fall backward and not forward. If you can’t support the full weight of your partner, you can modify the exercise from a sitting position where they lean backwards and you catch them before they hit the ground. Again, make sure you are physically capable of supporting their body weight or just skip this exercise.
Appreciation list
Some of the most effective couples relationship exercises involve deconstructing the negative ways in which you perceive your partner and restructuring them so you can see their good side. An appreciation list is a great way to do this.
Sit at a table in a way so you can’t see what each other is writing and make a list of five things your partner does that you appreciate. Follow this up with five things your partner could do to make you feel more appreciated, secure, or loved. When you’re both done, read your lists out to each other. People do try to get their ex back, read max jancar and relationship hero reviews here.
By each of you listing positive aspects about your partner first, you’re able to focus on the good parts of the relationship before moving on to the things that could be improved. This will help you both be more understanding and open to change than if you looked at what your relationship lacks first, this also explains why couples counseling is so expensive.
Date night
With work, family members, social circles, school commitments, and household chores all vying for your attention, it can seem impossible to carve out time for just you and your partner. But no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship together, it’s important you spend time together as a couple on a regular basis.
One of the easiest and most fun ways to do this is to commit to a regular date night. Whether you do it once every two, four, six, or eight weeks, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is making time to reconnect with your partner without anyone else.
The closer you are as a couple, the better your emotional and physical connection will be. For each date night, plan something fun to do together and work in a few couples relationship exercises. This way, you’ll be able to improve your relationship in a subtle, relaxed way.
At-home exercises aren’t an alternative solution
Exercises you can do at home are no replacement for seeing a professional couples therapist, especially if there are major problems in your relationship you’re struggling to overcome. Practicing these activities is a great way to get you used to the types of things you’ll be discussing and doing with the help of an online therapist, but they shouldn’t dissuade you from making your first appointment.
Whenever you’re ready to take your couples therapy to the next level, we’re here for you. When you’re in the right place, schedule an appointment to talk to a trained professional about your relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you want to straighten out your expectations before you make a long-term commitment or there are recent events (such as infertility, infidelity, or substance abuse) that are damaging your relationship, we can help you.
