There are many reasons you may want to stop caring about someone. You could be in a bad romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t care about you. Or maybe you’ve just gone through a breakup and you’re struggling to let go. Whatever the reason, it’s important you stop caring about someone if they don’t care about you.
Why you need to stop caring
If you still have feelings for the person who doesn’t care about you, you may struggle to just simply stop. But caring for someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings is only going to make you miserable.
While it’s your own life and you’ve got a right to your negative feelings, dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship shouldn’t hinder your present inner peace. You shouldn’t let someone in your life have power over you in that way. It doesn’t matter how you’re connected to someone, they’ve got no right to continue to make you feel miserable.
You have no control over anyone but yourself. The more you worry about things beyond your control, the more frustrated and disheartened you’ll feel.
By stopping caring about the person who no longer cares about you, you free yourself up to enjoy life and experience new relationships with other people. If you hold onto those feelings, you’ll always be an emotional prisoner of that person.
How to stop caring
- Accept the circumstances
The first step to stopping caring about someone is to accept and acknowledge that they don’t care about you. If you continue trying to get them to care about you, you’re stringing yourself along and undermining your dignity.
Accept that whatever you had with the person has come to an end. It’s time to let go and move on to the next stage of your life.
- Acknowledge your feelings
No one enjoys feeling sad and rejected, so it’s only natural to ignore your feelings and pretend you’ve stopped caring about the other person. If you hide from your feelings, they’re not going to go away. You need to accept them and tackle them head-on.
Allow yourself to fully experience everything you’re feeling until your feelings have lost their power. Trying to convince yourself that you’re not in pain is going to result in nothing but more pain. Accept that you loved the person and you’re hurting. Don’t be ashamed of how you feel. It’s all part of the healing process.
- Detach your self-worth from the situation
You decide how much you’re worth. It doesn’t have anything to do with the way other people treat you. How other people treat you is often a reflection of how they feel about themselves. If you’re holding onto someone who doesn’t care about you, it may be because of a belief you have about your self-worth.
When you stop defining your value by how the other person treats you, it’s easier to see the situation for what it truly is — someone trying to project their hurt onto you.
- Focus on the people who do care
Try not to focus on the person who doesn’t care about you anymore. They’ve taken up enough of your time and energy. Take back power by focusing on your friends and family who love and care about you.
It won’t happen instantaneously. But the more you spend time with the people who value you, the less you’ll think about the person you’re trying to forget.
- Discover what you want
There’s only one person in your life you can truly always count on — yourself. As you spend less time thinking about another person, use that time to think about what you really want in a partner and a relationship. When you’re ready to start seeing other people, you’ll have a better idea of what you want and can build a stronger relationship with the right person.
- Work on improving yourself
You have the opportunity to change, grow, and improve. Self-improvement is completely within your control and it’s entirely possible to determine areas in which you want to grow and then implement concrete actions to make it happen.
A lot of the time the aspects in others that we find most offensive are the ones we’re guilty of ourselves. When you find you’re annoyed with someone else, it’s good practice to take a look at yourself and see if you have the quality that made you annoyed.
By removing the negative habits and characteristics and replacing them with positive ones, you’ll be happier in your everyday life. You’ll also be more likely to attract emotionally healthy people.
- Talk to a professional
Another way you can stop caring about someone who doesn’t care about you is to talk to a therapist. Discussing your concerns with a professional can also help you reduce social anxiety that makes you worry about what people think of you. They can even help you decide who you want to be and put together a life plan to help you get there.
You don’t need a partner to love and appreciate yourself. A therapist can help you find what you love about yourself and feel proud of your strengths while working on your weaknesses. By working to improve yourself, you’ll boost your quality of life and feel happier. Make your first appointment today and get ready for big changes.
About the author: Shiva Amin
Shiva is a licensed clinical psychologist providing telehealth services in California. She mostly sees clients who are struggling with anxiety, depression, work stress, relationship issues, and adjustment issues. She uses an evidence based treatment approach such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Solution Focused Therapy. Her goal is to provide each client a safe place to talk about their concerns, while exploring different perspectives and options in managing their difficulties.
